I’m about 3 weeks late with this, but I am officially 50 years old.
Yes, I got my AARP thingie in the mail. I’m not sure if I’m going to join it or not.
I learned that if you say “I’m 50” out loud, it takes some of the “ohmigod I’m old” feeling away.
I don’t feel old at all. Not even seeing in My Chart that I should probably set up a time to have my first colonoscopy or that I am now officially due for the shingles vaccine.
I admit that the muscles in my shoulders and hips are tighter than Mike Pence’s sphincter at a 4th of July cookout on Fire Island. That is something I want to address.
My tight muscles, that is. I could care less about Mike Pence’s sphincter.
I am aware of my own mortality. I realize that I have reached the summit and beginning the descent on the opposite side of the mountain. Since I have no idea how far I have left to go before I reach the end, I’m going to live my life with no regrets. I’m going to let go of things that no longer serve me. I have so few fucks left to give, I’m going to save them for the important things.
So here’s to my 50s and beyond.