Nobody ever told me that when I hit menopause, that I would get chin hairs, much less having them ALL GROW IN AT THE SAME TIME!
I’ve had chin hairs here and their since my 30s. All I had to do was pluck them and they’d be gone. But now that I’m in my 50s, those wiry bastards decided to all grow in at the same time, making it impossible to pluck them. If I had to pluck them, that’s all I’d ever be doing. I’d have to quit my job just to have the time to pluck all those damned chin hairs.
So, I have to shave them. It’s the only way I can get rid of them because I can’t afford to go to the spa or wherever to have those sons of bitches lasered off. Then I’m afraid that I’ll cut myself and have to walk around with pieces of toilet paper stuck to my face where I had to put them to stop the bleeding.
I should have, as is my prerogative being fiftysomething, zero fucks to give about my chin hairs. However, I’m also vain in this area. I’ve also seen women who do nothing about their chin hairs and I’ve had a visceral reaction to it. I’m sorry, but it grosses me out.
It doesn’t help that I get paranoid about my own chin hairs. If I feel it, I’m convinced the whole world can see it. If the whole world can see it, then I get paranoid that they think I don’t take care of myself. I shouldn’t feel this way because of the Zero Fucks Rule of Midlife, but I guess this is the instance where I do have quite a few fucks to give.
So for now, I live with the burden of spending my precious fucks on chin hairs that nobody can see, despite the fact I’m convinced that everyone can see them. And I’ll be shaving them off from now until the day I die. Unless…
